This is for you, whose heart has been shattered by grief. Bless you in this place of seemingly endless suffering.
If I could, I would place my hand over your heart and say the words “bless you”. Bless you in this place of tears, of heartache .
May you feel seen and heard and known in this place. May you settle in to this offer of compassion.
I honor you- your heart is still beating, your lungs are still breathing. I honor your strength in this place, strength that doesn’t feel like strength at all.
I thank you for your truth-telling in this place, where the truth is gut-wrenchingly hard to bear.
Please remember there is no hurry, no have-tos, in this place of loss. Please give yourself time, time and space; as much as it takes.
I know you must sit, at times, in the darkness, letting the tears flow. My wish for you in this place of darkness, is that of soft surrender.
I am here too, in this place.
by 
1996
I think one of the most difficult times for me is when people told me not to talk about it, and likewise people said I’m never to be approached , he’ll just have to figure it out on his own, you can’t fix him, you can’t say anything that will help, grief is to be left solely to the individual ONLY!!!.
So as a result I sucked it up like a man and stuffed it.
I wanted so much to talk to somebody, I wanted so much to just be loved, but the intellectuals of the time said no.
One of the things I highly admire about you is not only your desire to write about it, but your invitation to allow others to share.
A luxury of healing I never had.
The old saying goes in that the best way to experience pain is to avoid it. The same goes for grief.