the distraction
of vacation
begins to fade and
I am
once again wrapped
in the trappings
of my sorrow.
What
to look forward to?
What
to live for?
Husband , sons,
people who care for me-
yet
it is so hard to grasp,
this motivation
to go on.
I don’t want to but I must
I must.
The feeling that
I no longer
belong
that I don’t
fit
permeates me.
I am forever
changed.
I am as different
from my former self as
day is
from night.
I am a balloon with
no air
no way
to stay aloft.
So empty.
by 