I want to remember your stunning smile and your laughter.
I need to forget how on one of your last days
you sat on the side of your hospital bed
and watched the sunrise
while crying silent tears.
I want to remember your passion for food.
I need to forget those end of life requests
for berries and bread.
Requests I could not fulfill because of the
radiation- caused hole in your stomach
and the feeding tube.
But when you asked I said “yes”.
I want to remember your curiosity about the world
and your love of travel.
I need to forget how broken, how bereft you became
when you realized you wouldn’t be leaving the ICU,
not alive.
I want to always, ALWAYS remember your love for us,
ours for you.
I need to forget our wailing when you
took your last breath.
I want to remember your life, joy-filled, life-filled.
I need to forget your final days;
the despair I felt, the utter sorrow.
I want to remember you, dancing by the sea.
I need to forget your body
still and breath-less.
by 