This Sea is stormy

dark grey carried

by Wind furious

by rain

Sky weeping

wind rain pain.

As I watch

an emptiness fills me

vast and pulsing

unending, repeating like

push pull of tide

day night sun rain wind calm

The endlessness of it all

all of it endless

bereft

bereaved

empty .

I don’t want this anymore

this too much pain

I lay in bed and don’t want it to be true

don’t want to be the one

the mother

Responsible

for passing on such darkness

such stormy wind- furious weep- raining

to my child

It is a thousand knives through my heart to see his hollow eyes

by